Today marks a year. A year in the same country, mostly the same city, same room, same bed. A year with every comfort imaginable, and the only travel being weekends with a small carry-on bag, not a backpack. A year of sitting in an air conditioned office. A year of being able to eat whatever I want when I want, no beans or rice. A year of making new friends in the city I left. A year of learning to be content in one place. A year where nothing is different, yet everything has changed. A year of transformation.

Landing in Los Angeles after a year abroad on the World Race, I had no idea what was ahead of me, no inkling what I wanted, no clue what God wanted for me. One year later, it seems as though nothing has changed, even the Gamecocks are in the College World Series championship again. I am still figuring out what God has for my life, still learning who I am, still seeking the mystery of who He is.

Over the past year my passion for the orphans and widows has grown, despite their absence in my daily life. I still hurt when I think of the millions of people in poverty. I still cry over the people who think they have no choice but to sell themselves to make ends meet, or even traffic their children hoping to give them a better life. I am burdened for people who lost everything in a single moment. My heart breaks for the impoverished who don’t see hope, encompassed in darkness. I still don’t know what I am supposed to do about it.

It would be easy to sit and compare and feel that my year at home was wasted. To feel that after a year moving from the inner city of Dublin to the African bush to the jungles of Southeast Asia living among the poorest of the poor, sitting in an office 40 hours a week means nothing. It would be easy to spend today fixating on all the things I didn’t do this year, places I didn’t go, people I didn’t meet.

Instead I am going to spend today celebrating what God did in my life this year. The people I have been blessed to meet, and the relationships that have grown even deeper. For the change He has made in my heart, and for the passions that remain. I will praise Him because I still don’t know what lies ahead, because I am still learning my role in His plan, and as I discover more of God’s heart mine will change as well. The Lord has a unique purpose for my life, and I don’t have to worry about the next step. I just have to follow. I just have to listen to His voice and obey.

Thank you Jesus for this year. Thank you for a family that loves me and a roof over my head. Thank you for better friends than I deserve, who demonstrate Your love for me so well. Thank you for air conditioning and clean water. Thank you for Charles and my time behind the fence. Thank you for the times I felt lonely in a room full of people, and the reminder that You were with me. Thank you for continuing to shape my heart to look like yours, even though it hurts. Thank you that I am not complete, and that you will never give up on me.

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   things I’m not doing

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