First thing this morning I learned a college friend suddenly passed away. Patrick and I met in high school as we served on the work crew at Windy Gap for a month, a place we would later reminisce as our favorite in the world. We both went to Carolina where we were Young Life leaders. After college we lost touch, it’s been years since we have spoken or even see each other, yet his death has been on my mind all day.

I have to admit, I am guilty of not loving Patrick well some days, and now I will never have the chance to say I am sorry.  While we had our issues, Patrick was a brother and dedicated so much time and energy into Young Life kids and leaders, a cause that will always be dear to my heart.

In the face of such tragedy, it is hard not to focus on the whys and hows and what ifs. What if I had been nicer to him? Why did this have to happen? How did things in Patrick’s life get to this point? Who could have stopped it? With so many questions surrounding his death, it is hard to focus on the hope he and I both share in Christ.

Looking at Patrick’s Facebook page, I have been reminded of the lives he impacted. High school and middle school students know Christ because of Patrick. I had the privilege of serving alongside this man of God and I was blessed by the love he showed people. Now, Patrick is with Jesus. He is complete and free from suffering. He is able to rejoice with his Savior and celebrate the ways he brought God’s kingdom to earth.

Therefore, instead of being consumed by guilt or sadness or shock, I am choosing to celebrate with Patrick. I am confident he changed more lives than he even knew. I know that in the midst of everything, God will get the glory from this. My heart breaks for his friends and family that do not have that confidence in the Lord. I can’t fathom enduring this type of loss, especially so close to Christmas.

Patrick, I am sorry for the times I didn’t love you well, and the things I may have said or thought that didn’t honor you. Thank you for your life and love and support. Thank you for loving high school kids from Lexington, even though it wasn’t your job. My heart goes out to your family during this time, and I pray they find the hope and light that you had in Christ. I pray they celebrate your legacy and know that you are now whole, fully alive, and with your Savior.