“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.”
“I am rubber you are glue, whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you.”
So many phrases attempt to shield children from the cruel words of bullies. At the same time, these phrases also diminish the power of the words we say.
“I am sorry you feel that way.”
“I was just being honest.”
“That is only my opinion.”
“The truth hurts.”
“You misinterpreted what I said.”
“It’s your fault you heard it that way.”
“You are just being insecure.”
The list of excuses we give when our words hurt others could go on and on. As a society, so many times we choose to point a finger in the other direction when our words hurt another person. However, the inescapable fact is words have weight. Words can wound. Perception is reality. And it is time that we realize it is our responsibility to control our tongues.
Every time I open my mouth I have a choice: to speak life or to speak death. Each word I use has power, a power over myself and a power over others. I can no longer hide behind the excuse that I am merely offering my opinion, or just speaking my mind. I have to understand that the things I say affect the people around me as well as myself. Yes, sometimes the truth hurts. But truth does not wound. If the use of my tongue hurts someone, I need to take responsibility and apologize. Verbalizing my personal convictions should not hurt the feelings of people I love, or even people I do not love.
Last week, my roommates and I committed to holding each other accountable for the things we say. We want to speak life. We want to be a catalyst for change in our community. We want to be women whose words do not wound. We want to be women who understand our words have weight.
I want to be a woman who speaks positively. I want to understand that whether or not people are in the room, the things I say about them has an effect. I want to think and speak the best of others.
I admit I am not the best at this. Sometimes my tongue wounds the people I love. But I hope to have the integrity and character to take responsibility for the things I say and seek forgiveness whether my words are misinterpreted or I meant for them to hurt. This won’t be easy at all. But I am so blessed to live with two other women who desire the same thing.
My words have weight and I want to use that weight to build others up, not burden them or break them down. I want to speak life. I want to speak of others as God would speak of them. We are all his creation; we are all his children, and I want to speak well of my brothers and sisters.